Am i nessisary?

Why do i even try? who even reads this blog?! i mean, im not an important part of society. I'm "loved" but no one wants to date me. Im used for sex probably. "I love your body", "you have my favorite body", "But i mean, ypu shirtless" are all things that have been said during/ after sex and be honest, how would you think, especially when youre the one havibfto cuddle and youre not being held anymore? And you cant be thw one to be sexy, ypu just have to TRY to go for it, hoping success, more oftwn than not failing and feeling like a bad person. Or theyd rathwr masturbate, even AFTER sex when you probably didnt get off too much and youre scared to ask if them touching themself os betterthan you, because you fancy thwyre bettwr. you try your best to be their best or favorite lover, butyou know youll nevwr be that. I dont want to feel like this anymore but i cant helpbut givein to her.